Happiness is Being in the Present Moment

Love naturally flows out of the present moment, which is the only moment that exists. The present moment is what is real. When we bring a memory from the past, a fantasy of the future, a fear, a judgment, or any other self-centered thought into the present moment, those thoughts draw us out of the present-moment reality, where love and the potential for happiness exist, and into the ego’s world, which is a world of discontentment, judgment, striving, and desiring. All of the pain in the world is created by identifying with such thoughts. The antidote for this pain is simply moving into the present moment and out of our thoughts about life, about ourselves, and about others.

One of the main ways suffering is created is by hanging on to the past by thinking about it and telling stories about it. We hang on to painful events at least as much as we try to hang on to happy memories, even though there is nothing left to hang on to. The past is gone, and all we have is a memory of it-a thought. Is a thought the past? Can a thought change the past or re-create the past? No. A thought is impotent, powerless. But it’s worse than that: When you bring a memory of the past into the present moment, your experience of the present moment is changed. You are no longer experiencing life purely, but colored by either the pain of the past or the longing for the past. When you do this, you won’t be able to experience the joy, love, and peace that are available in the present moment.

When we are fully in the present moment instead of absorbed in our thoughts about the past or the future or thoughts about ourselves and how our life is going, life feels good, we feel happy and at peace. However, if we bring thoughts into this moment that cause us to feel unhappy and discontent with the present moment, we won’t experience that inherent happiness and peace. We will think that our life isn’t good, that happiness isn’t available, when it is.

Thoughts create our unhappiness, not circumstances. This is one of life’s great secrets. It is a secret because it seems like the opposite is true-that if we could just get circumstances to change, we would finally be happy. But that just isn’t true. Happiness is a potential in any moment, and it is what we bring into this moment through thought that causes us to feel unhappy and discontent with life. Memories are some of the most common thoughts that rob our happiness, but even fantasies of the future do this, simply because they take us out of the richness and aliveness of the present moment and into a made-up reality. The mind’s reality is a two-dimensional reality; it doesn’t have the fullness, realness, aliveness, or depth of reality, and it never will, no matter how engrossed in a fantasy we become.

Happiness is not found in thinking, as fun as thinking can be sometimes. Absorption in thoughts about the past and the future and about ourselves is not really fun. We feel compelled to think about ourselves, our past, and our future, but just notice how contracted and tense these thoughts make you feel. Such thinking doesn’t result in happiness, but confusion, worry, fear, stress, and discontentment.

Forgiving and forgetting the past allows us to stay in the present moment, to drop the memories and attempts at fixing the past or being right and just be here right now and see what life is offering now in this moment. Once you allow yourself to really experience the present moment, you discover that it has everything you have ever wanted. It has the peace, happiness, contentment, and even excitement that you long for. When we are in the moment, we experience the excitement and adventure of not knowing what is coming next, and we also experience the joy our Being feels in being alive and existing in this amazing universe. When you come into the present moment, you come into contact with the real you, with your Being, which is in love with life and enjoying it all!

A Presentation Lesson From Dr. Wayne Dyer

As a presenter, have you ever walked into a packed room with lots of energy and couldn’t wait for your chance to take the stage? It is exciting! On the flip side, have you ever walked into a room with only 25% of the seats filled and no energy? How do you feel? Does it affect your presentation? It used to hurt mine terribly.

First, do you know who Dr. Wayne Dyer is? If not, he is a very spiritually based motivational author and speaker. Some of his favorite quotes are: “You’ll see it when you believe it” and “Stay focused on what you are for rather than what you are against.” When I was first introduced to the world of motivation, I loved listening to Zig, Tony, Brian, and Dr. Dyer.

I was at a church last week watching his new film: Ambition to Meaning. The quote at the top of this article comes from that movie. It took me a while to understand what he meant by that. As we grow in life (or as a presenter) we must realize that some of the things we believed and lived by are not true anymore. We must let go. As Craig Valentine would say, “What got you here, won’t get you there.

As I was watching the film, he reminded me of a lesson I learned from him at one of his live presentations. A lesson I still need to be reminded of on occasion.

Dr. Dyer came to Worcester, MA early in my career. I had read his book, Real Magic, and could not wait to see him live. As a new speaker, as I entered the room I was getting excited. This is what I want to do for a living; here is a celebrity in the business. Cool. The seats were set for a thousand people. One of the local insurance companies had brought him in to speak to their company and decided to open it up to the public to help cover the cost of bringing him in.

Seven minutes before show time, I looked around and saw that only about twenty-five percent of the seats were filled. Oh my! What a difficult setting. How uncomfortable for the speaker. I was embarrassed for him, that there were so few people there. It was weird, I felt bad for him and I had nothing to do with the promotion of the event.

As Dr. Dyer took the stage, he had a certain calmness about him. He carefully looked around and noticed the turn out. Someone must have said something to him, or apologized to him for the low turn out. The first thing he said to the audience was “It is OK”. He said, “The people who are supposed to be here are. That’s all we need.” Wow. It took me a while to absorb what he said.

At that point in my career I would have freaked out. I would have been upset with someone. Bottom line, to him, it did not matter. He was OK with it. He did not let it affect him. In fact, he was excited to help whoever was there, even though the “setting” was not perfect. We all need to remember that, yes, we want to have a full room with lots of energy. But, sometimes it won’t be. Once we optimize the setting for our presentation, our goal as a speaker is to help the people in front of us the best we can, no matter what the setting, or how many people are there. As much fun as a full room can be, we are there to change the lives and inspire the ones that are present. Don’t let your own ego get in the way of your connection with your audience like I used to.

Dr. Dyer, thanks for helping me to “grow up” as a speaker. Thanks for helping me to see that confidence on stage is good, ego is not. How will you look at the next presentation when there is a low turn out?

Be Cautious During the Listing Presentation

Please read this before inviting a prospective Realtor to your home to make a sales pitch why he is the best candidate to sell your home.

Whether it’s a Realtor or a vacuum sales rep, there are common tactics used to get you to sign on the dotted line. When deciding which agent will represent you for the most important purchase or sale of your life, beware of certain tactics used.

Many of these examples come from the book How to Become a Power Agent in Real Estate, by Darryl Davis. The purpose of this book is to get agents to double their income in 12 months. It is an older book, but the principles are still applicable.

The first step in the process is to build rapport. Be careful with this. According to Davis, part of this process will include personal questions such as what is taking you and your family out of town, where you’re moving to, etc. These questions aren’t just to break the ice. They are to find out if you are committed to aggressively selling your house. If not, Davis says (in reference to buyers not committed) “… refer her or him to an agent that hasn’t read this book!” I guess if you’re not able to contribute to a Realtor’s doubled income, you’re not worth their time.

When agents tour your home to gather information for the CMA, or Comparative Market Analysis, they may point out problems with your home and make noises such as, “hmmm.” All this is so you are more willing to accept a lower sales price for your home.

When discussing what they will do to sell your home and why you need a Realtor, he focuses on how much Realtors do. Ironically, in much of the rest of the book, it talks about why Realtors should try to get more listings… because it requires so much less work. He even gives an example of a Realtor that was in a truck accident and wound up in the hospital for a few months. The focus was that since he had a lot of listings, he didn’t need to worry because he would still be getting paid – even while doing nothing. I will dedicate other blog posts specifically to address this sales tactic.

Finally, when the listing presentation is all done, Davis explains an effective way to get prospective clients to sign on the dotted line. He says, “As you’re filling out the paperwork, you don’t want any silent pauses. If there’s silence, they start thinking…” He continues on the next page in regards to when you hand the contract to one spouse to sign, “The key is to involve the spouse so the two can’t communicate.”

I’m baffled. I’m truly baffled. Does the real estate industry really want a bunch of clients that aren’t able to communicate with their spouses, or worse yet, aren’t able to even think about a decision this important.